i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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