I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
