he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
