Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
