i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
