when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if only i could text you this smell
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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