Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
