I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
