we made out on top of his cat.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
