just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
