Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
whose parrot is this?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
