i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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