Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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