You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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