Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
