college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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