11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
