Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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