i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
