soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
