is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
