so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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