Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He kissed a someone with a penis
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
