My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
