we have pet lesbian snakes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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