Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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