I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
