every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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