you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just pee around me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
