just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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