I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
