Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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