I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
