Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
