doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
