You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
