I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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