i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
