i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
