I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
