Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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