I think i sorta joined a cult last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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