Buhtt sex?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
