Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
