So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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