you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
