chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
