Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
