But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
