His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
