Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
