Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
