That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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